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Flash Fiction: Booze Cruise Gone Haywire

Happy April Fool’s Day! My mom is the queen, the actual queen, of April Fool’s pranks. I am not. But I can write some humorous stories on occasion. This post is a part of a series of flash fiction pieces I’ve been writing at my writing group and sharing here on the blog. I wrote this piece months ago but I felt it was appropriate to share now.

Flash fiction is a story under 1,500 words. It’s very short and gives a brief flash of narrative. It’s not elaborated on and stands on its own. In my case, this is very much fast fiction as well as flash fiction. This piece was generated from a prompt and written in under twenty minutes. My story is transcribed as written. (With some minor spelling changes.) Other then that, everything remains the same as when I first wrote it.

At my writing group, we spend the first part of our time writing from a prompt. The writing prompt one session was to take characters from a TV show and write a story about them. I love The Office and was inspired to rewrite a scene. What if the Booze Cruise actually was sinking? What would the characters do? And here, for your entertainment and pleasure is what I imagined would happen.

“We’re sinking, we’re sinking, every man for themselves!” Michael Scott screams over the wailing of the sirens. Dwight Schrute, volunteer sheriff deputy, shouts directions to both his co-workers and crew members alike, saying,

“Everyone remain calm. Who doesn’t know how to swim? Stanley?” Dwight looks towards Stanley’s skin, not his face, before starting to distribute life jackets with force.

“Dwight, I don’t know how to swim,” says Jim Halpert, Dwight’s rival.

“Shut up, Jim. No one asked you.”

“I heard you ask everyone,” says Pamela Beasley.

“Do you not know how to swim Pam? I can help you. I swam every summer with my cousin Mose in the pond adjacent to our beet farm.” They banter as Pam tries not to laugh.

Meanwhile, Michael clings to his man crush of the office, Ryan. Ryan stares blankly ahead, mortified as Michael starts to cry at his feet.

“I don’t want to die,” he moans, “I’m too young. Take Phyllis instead!”

“Who are you talking to?” asks Ryan.

“God,” Michael says, “and maybe Lebron James.” Ryan rolls his eyes and tries wiggling away from Michael still clinging to his feet. Michael attempts to climb Ryan like a cat scaling a tree to get away from water.

Because the booze cruise the employees of Dunder Mifflin paper company reside, sinks into the January water of Lake Wallenpaupack. The boat’s engine room is slowly filling with water. Earlier, Michael had stood at the prow of the boat and said, arms stretched, “I am king of the world!”

And now with too much irony, I tell you, the engine room of the booze cruise was punctured by a floating ice sculpture that was dumped overboard after the sister ship of the booze cruise, the marriage carriage, had a no show and has left us with this uncanny recreation of Titanic.

Letter board quote I am king of the world from Titanic

What works for this prompt is that you know these characters already. You don’t have to create them. You just have to put them in an unusual situation or a new scene. I had such fun writing this at my writing group I’d thought I’d share. What TV show would you write about? Are you a fan of The Office?

Happy Writing-

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